Cheerleaders are disgusting!

Shawn and I were sitting watching a Bronco game today with Saul. Here's some of Saul's commentary:

"I don't like the cheerleaders. They are beskusting! They always show their belly buttons...that's gross! And their butts are beskusting!"

Anger

I have this occasional feeling. And if you ever ask, I'm sure I'll tell you all about it.

That said, it's a thing that very seldom comes, but when it arrives I recognize it's terrible, ugly face. And though recognition may be a step toward change it holds no power. So today held a nasty feeling...a feeling that immediately felt familiar...despised even, and yet I had no control over it's coming or it's staying for my entire Saturday. Goodbye Saturday, September 12, 2009. You are a day lost in time. I hope to not see you again for some time or even ever.

To Foster...Or Not To Foster...

The phone rang tonight at about 9:30. It was Jen..."Guess what Em! We got a baby girl!". Foster baby that is! Her name is Gennisee and Jen and Dan are very excited! (And I can only imagine Natalie and Paige are too!) I feel equally as pumped as I feel myself getting the itch once again...

Which leads to my constant inner struggle...

I always wonder if fostering and adopting is a pull that I'll always have regardless of whether or not it's the right time for our family, or if there's a greater meaning behind the timing of the tug inside me.

Either way, here's where I'm at!...I am continually grateful for the beauty of my life, my family. Shawn and I are so happy...which I know is no "given". (And could change at any moment.) I try not to take for granted the wonder I find in watching Chance, Helen, and Saul play, explore and laugh...the pleasure I find in relaxing hand in hand on the couch with Shawn at the end of a busy day...the meaning I find in working with people at the hospital. My life is so full...God is good to us.

So for now I'm so very excited for Jen and Dan as this phase of their lives finally begins...will be in constant prayer for the sweet, unfortunate kiddos that come through their home...(as well as the inevitable one or more that will stay!!)...and no doubt will have my heart wide open for the day that Shawn and I feel we're ready to "go there" and do some fostering of our own! (And Shawn, you know I ALWAYS think I'm ready!)

Go get 'em Jen and Dan!!

Saul's Adoption Moment...

One night this week while tucking Saul in for the night he was unusually "huggy"!  By the time he'd said he loved me for the fourth time I started to think he might be looking for some rare one on one time together!  

Here's how I began:  "I love you too, Saul!  I'm so glad I have you...Did you know Mommy and Daddy picked you out?  We wanted you to be ours forever!  Chance and Helen were in Mommy's tummy when they were babies, but we got to choose you!!

Saul:  "Why were Chance and Helen in your tummy?!"

Me:  "Because they were mine and Daddy's babies, but we got to pick you out and we decided we wanted you to be ours forever!"

Saul:  "Did you buy me?!!!!"  (Huge smile!)

Priceless!